“Alenka — good, good girl. But if something is not on it, it immediately begins to scream. This habit she had recently. What to do with it, I’ll never know?” “Three summer months the girl had grandparents in the village. Came back and started. Yells on occasion and without. Morning till evening, and hear her cries and lamentations. Why third put a spoonful of sugar when she asked two. She knows that I need to clean up their books. And all the shouting, screaming. People will listen, God knows what you will think!” The habit of screaming, arguing his innocence, is produced in children gradually. From day to day, from month to month they formed the belief that if they just ask, calmly state your requirements and wishes, it will not lead to the desired result.
Perhaps this belief arose because the adults are too long to impose upon the child his will. Perhaps, some of them quite successful in using this technique, that is, talking in a raised voice, not too restrained in the expression of emotions. The child is the same as a curved mirror that reflects what is happening in exaggerated form. He’s just a mimic us, and it seems Continue reading
«the man went to his mistress, but he lives with me!» In such, slightly schizophrenic, situations are many women. Some of them write to me. For the last two months, I received several emails from my readers where the situation — as a blueprint.There lived, not grieve, and raise children were still very young, and suddenly — a bolt from the blue. The man went to his mistress.
But gone weird. Declared that he even moved some things — and still lives at home. Cares about the children, the wife sometimes smiles, gifts trying to do.
And not defined. What can I do, how can we be?
Well, let me share my view based on experience and observations. I must say — the husband can be returned, but it requires a huge effort. So enormous that I doubt that they are appropriate.
What’s going on?
In all situations (those that I sent in the mail or those that I watched myself) have one thing in common — with small children. Generally — up to five years. Most often — not more than three. And it — for a reason.
High probability that, immersed in the cares of the child, both spouses become good parents, but spouses to be stopped. This is a common situation — no one is immune.
When the couple cease to be spouses, Continue reading
For anybody not a secret that our age is rapid. Perhaps that is why young parents, fearing to be late, hurry immediately after the birth of the baby to plan his future and solve the following problems: how old to sit with the child at home, whether to give him in a manger, whether to hire a nanny, what age do I have to invite specialists in early education of the child, which school to give to learn which universities will be worthy to receive the child after the end of the 11th grade. The above problems are not far-fetched, they have overcome almost all moms and dads, grandmothers and grandfathers. Solving them, it is difficult to consider many variables that make up our lives. All parents, trying to plan in advance and facilitate the child’s life, somehow believe that their child will be a genius: it will grow by leaps and bounds, possibly, will show musical ability, intellectual or artistic talent, brilliantly graduate…
However, everything in life, unfortunately, is much harder and more prosaic, and not always our dreams come true. But whatever it was, before almost all young parents face the question: to teach or not to teach the child? And most importantly, where to begin? A year, two, three?
There are many views on the problem of early child development: some Continue reading