«the man went to his mistress, but he lives with me!» In such, slightly schizophrenic, situations are many women. Some of them write to me. For the last two months, I received several emails from my readers where the situation — as a blueprint.There lived, not grieve, and raise children were still very young, and suddenly — a bolt from the blue. The man went to his mistress.
But gone weird. Declared that he even moved some things — and still lives at home. Cares about the children, the wife sometimes smiles, gifts trying to do.
And not defined. What can I do, how can we be?
Well, let me share my view based on experience and observations. I must say — the husband can be returned, but it requires a huge effort. So enormous that I doubt that they are appropriate.
What’s going on?
In all situations (those that I sent in the mail or those that I watched myself) have one thing in common — with small children. Generally — up to five years. Most often — not more than three. And it — for a reason.
High probability that, immersed in the cares of the child, both spouses become good parents, but spouses to be stopped. This is a common situation — no one is immune.
When the couple cease to be spouses, Continue reading
As a boy to raise a man
Women can often hear the regret that today’s boys lack male parenting, and as a result lack of male parenting men do not manifest themselves in a masculine way.
This is a huge however, only are we ready for such education, including whether women themselves to make difficult the norms of male parenting, education like men? The belief “Men don’t cry” is a required part of men’s education. I think this is a good believe that it should be applied with discernment and intelligence.
Itself to cry, do not be ashamed and not harmful. Good to cry from joy, to cry at the funeral, where appropriate and customary. But in other situations where children and women can cry, men do not. Men don’t cry, because for them it is usually pointless, and to be boys, we have a strong and reasonable people.
This is not all know, but for men crying is pointless. For women it’s different: if the woman mount, and she cried, she usually becomes easier, woman crying helps to cope with emotional pain. While the men have all wrong, their grief and their pain are not crying eases, no.
Women believe in it with difficulty, but it’s true – tears from men not easier. If a man against his tears, they cause him protest and additional internal stress. Continue reading
Parents become unbearable, quarrelling with the child and with each other because of his education ( M. Mead “Child development”( )). And in this case, when raising children in an atmosphere of constant quarrels, fights, misunderstandings in the family the child is cultivated and enhanced by their inability to contain immediate emotional reactions, anxiety, conflict. Infected irritability adults, children carry it on his / her immediate environment – peers. And, I want to repeat that in the younger preschool age children “adults act as carriers of models of action and relationships in the world” (B. alcone( )). And, of course, at this age in the first place such samples are parents.
The impact of family management on the assimilation of the aggressive behavior of children.
The issues of family education and the influence of family relationships on the child have been developed in the framework of the psycho-pedagogical approach (K. D. Ushinsky, A. S. Makarenko, V. A. Sukhomlinsky, E. A. Arkin, A. N. Leont’ev, A. V. Zaporozhets, N. And.Lisin, V. K. Capirlo, etc.).
The authors dealing with this issue assign an important role of early experience of raising a child in a specific cultural environment, family traditions and emotional background of the relationship Continue reading