“Alenka — good, good girl. But if something is not on it, it immediately begins to scream. This habit she had recently. What to do with it, I’ll never know?” “Three summer months the girl had grandparents in the village. Came back and started. Yells on occasion and without. Morning till evening, and hear her cries and lamentations. Why third put a spoonful of sugar when she asked two. She knows that I need to clean up their books. And all the shouting, screaming. People will listen, God knows what you will think!” The habit of screaming, arguing his innocence, is produced in children gradually. From day to day, from month to month they formed the belief that if they just ask, calmly state your requirements and wishes, it will not lead to the desired result.
Perhaps this belief arose because the adults are too long to impose upon the child his will. Perhaps, some of them quite successful in using this technique, that is, talking in a raised voice, not too restrained in the expression of emotions. The child is the same as a curved mirror that reflects what is happening in exaggerated form. He’s just a mimic us, and it seems Continue reading
«the man went to his mistress, but he lives with me!» In such, slightly schizophrenic, situations are many women. Some of them write to me. For the last two months, I received several emails from my readers where the situation — as a blueprint.There lived, not grieve, and raise children were still very young, and suddenly — a bolt from the blue. The man went to his mistress.
But gone weird. Declared that he even moved some things — and still lives at home. Cares about the children, the wife sometimes smiles, gifts trying to do.
And not defined. What can I do, how can we be?
Well, let me share my view based on experience and observations. I must say — the husband can be returned, but it requires a huge effort. So enormous that I doubt that they are appropriate.
What’s going on?
In all situations (those that I sent in the mail or those that I watched myself) have one thing in common — with small children. Generally — up to five years. Most often — not more than three. And it — for a reason.
High probability that, immersed in the cares of the child, both spouses become good parents, but spouses to be stopped. This is a common situation — no one is immune.
When the couple cease to be spouses, Continue reading
Parents become unbearable, quarrelling with the child and with each other because of his education ( M. Mead “Child development”( )). And in this case, when raising children in an atmosphere of constant quarrels, fights, misunderstandings in the family the child is cultivated and enhanced by their inability to contain immediate emotional reactions, anxiety, conflict. Infected irritability adults, children carry it on his / her immediate environment – peers. And, I want to repeat that in the younger preschool age children “adults act as carriers of models of action and relationships in the world” (B. alcone( )). And, of course, at this age in the first place such samples are parents.
The impact of family management on the assimilation of the aggressive behavior of children.
The issues of family education and the influence of family relationships on the child have been developed in the framework of the psycho-pedagogical approach (K. D. Ushinsky, A. S. Makarenko, V. A. Sukhomlinsky, E. A. Arkin, A. N. Leont’ev, A. V. Zaporozhets, N. And.Lisin, V. K. Capirlo, etc.).
The authors dealing with this issue assign an important role of early experience of raising a child in a specific cultural environment, family traditions and emotional background of the relationship Continue reading