The Education of boys and girls.
Very interesting notes read here. Have long thought on this subject. Even if you remove the separation on toys for male-jensie, according to the accurate attributes of behavior for boys-girly (girl to care for, protect boys, girls are beautiful, boys are smart, flexible girls, boys are clever and brave), you will still have different upbringing, different approach. The girl kept “on a short leash,” expect complaisance and accuracy, expect from the boys of enterprise and skill and give more freedom.
So the difference in perception of men and women unconsciously different. But what I noticed more femininity, independence and maturity can only be found in girls who were in childhood pisankami. Conversely, greater entrepreneurship and creativity can be expected from those men who do not impose the male line of conduct and didn’t have a plan, giving full freedom in action.
Here is a partial separation of upbringing in a joint stay.
It so happened that two months I spent a bystander in the group our son in kindergarten. Garden in Helsinki, public, very comfortable and pleasant, in the group of son – fifteen two-year-olds (five boys, ten girls) and four adults. The premise of the group is divided into zones, i.e., each child usually plays either in cars or in trains, or dolls, etc, but not all at once.
In the group there is no clear separation of classes “girls” or “boys”, children never say they should do or what should be girls or boys, no “don’t cry, you’re a boy” etc. Children speak politely, much praise, scold, take into account their opinion. In General, a Paradise on earth 🙂
Thus for two months I noticed a very apparent difference in treatment of boys and girls. Tell, if anyone is interested
Toys are not divided into “boy” and “girly”. The boys offer to play with dolls and kitchen on par with cars. The boys and play all in a row about the same. For some reason girls never offer cars (although, of course, and do not forbid to play them, if the girl will take the machine itself). If a girl starts a game, she always offered to call someone in the company (usually a girl). If a starts the game boy – he usually plays alone, until one of the kids decides to approach him.
– If children are divided into groups for games or practice, usually boys automatically isolated in a separate group, although the boys in the group are very different in character and temperament.
When our son decided to learn to play together (side by side) with other children, educators began to choose which of his children to try to make friends. There was a hitch – all the boys is not really suitable for a variety of reasons. When I offered the girl V. which son is sitting at the same table at dinner and builds mutually faces, they are extremely surprised – they don’t even occurred to me that the friends of the boy can be a boy. (this is the most strong and noticeable friendship in the group just between a boy and a girl
– The fathers of the children involved in the life of the group is approximately the same as the mother of many children lead and take it is fathers. One boy’s dad comes into your lunch break to lay them down for NAPs, and if dad can’t come – he called it daddy before bedtime. Caregivers treat mothers and fathers equally, the same tell them the news, etc. In this case, when the parents are not – on their own initiative educators say only about mothers (for example, if the boy puts his father, cry, ask him if he misses her mummy).
– Beautiful clothes girls admire, if the clothes are new – I recall this several times a day. Use the adjectives in Finnish are more “feminine” tint (in Russian, probably, type “cute”, “pleasant”). The girls are happy to boast about new clothes. Clothes boys praise rarely and only for functionality (“wow, this jumpsuit can sit in a puddle!”).
It’s funny that when our son came into the garden in a t-shirt in pink stripe, it immediately drew attention, using the same “feminine” words “what a cute vest! what nice colors!” 🙂
– Children are allowed to play in the hallway, if there is someone from educators. Without caregivers of children in principle not allowed to leave the group. If the group goes boy – usually all decide that he’s out on some thing (forgot in the hallway truck) and expect that after some time he will return. If not returned soon, so follow him. If it comes down to the girl, her or call out immediately, or offer to help (let’s go find that boy).
– On the walk, the boys wander around the yard, the girls play next to the caregivers in the sandbox. If a boy cries – someone would pick it up, move aside, soothe and find him busy with his job (to ride a car or a roller coaster). If a girl is crying as the teacher picks her up and soothes immediately, sandbox, while other children often help to calm the girl. Then she found the company of other children (usually in the same sandbox).
– The group has a very calm, reasonable and polite boy. For this he is often praised. Calm and sensible girls take for granted.
Boy say “give me bread” the teacher says “well done, you remembered to say ‘please’! here’s your bread!”. After that, the girl asks for bread in the same words as the teacher silently passes the bread.
The same works Vice versa – the group has a very active, loud and clever girl.
The boys climb on the slide, the teacher stands there and watches. There goes that girl, teacher admires – well done, you’re agile, climbed as high!
And in both the case of children evaluated positively because they do not fit gender norms – but it is very clearly given to understand that about the unusual qualities of these particular kids, but in fact boys and girls are usually others.
For boys more control “outside” (more control), it is expected and is considered normal that the boy will break the rules and regulations, “try the border”. If a boy does something illegal, they are reminded about the rules or be punished (as punishment, the children sit in the hallway in the hands of the caregiver, until you are ready to play without disturbing the rest). Girls expect more “internal control” – if a foul girl, teachers are less likely to punish her, but more often Express surprise and confidence that it was an accident and she will continue to remember the rules. Unwanted behavior girls suppressed earlier than boys (as mentioned above – give the boy to leave the group and then remind you that you can’t leave the girl reminded at the door).
Total overall, although a clear separation and no, and there are even quite a marked desire for equal treatment, there is a fairly clear expectations from girls and boys. Girls calm and reasonable, the boys are active and loud. Girls encourage communication and cooperative games, boys – the movement and independence. Boys are given more space (both physical and spiritual) than girls. After the boys more control, from girls more than expected.