“Alenka — good, good girl. But if something is not on it, it immediately begins to scream. This habit she had recently. What to do with it, I’ll never know?” “Three summer months the girl had grandparents in the village. Came back and started. Yells on occasion and without. Morning till evening, and hear her cries and lamentations. Why third put a spoonful of sugar when she asked two. She knows that I need to clean up their books. And all the shouting, screaming. People will listen, God knows what you will think!” The habit of screaming, arguing his innocence, is produced in children gradually. From day to day, from month to month they formed the belief that if they just ask, calmly state your requirements and wishes, it will not lead to the desired result.
Perhaps this belief arose because the adults are too long to impose upon the child his will. Perhaps, some of them quite successful in using this technique, that is, talking in a raised voice, not too restrained in the expression of emotions. The child is the same as a curved mirror that reflects what is happening in exaggerated form. He’s just a mimic us, and it seems that he is crossing a line. It may be that the growing man stumbles upon this form of behaviour by accident, but, once you try it, finds it quite effective. As it turns out, adults are much more responsive to the cries, rather than words. Request or.the requirement will be fulfilled, not because they are sensible and timely, but only in order to quickly get rid of, terminate, not to listen to more screaming.
Whatever the cause of children’s blatancy, appearing, it causes a lot of anxiety surrounding. Parents struggling to calm the child. They start to worry that his mind is not all right. They care, and public opinion: who wants to meet condemning the views of neighbors, hear them whisper behind him? The higher the degree of concern for parents, and the more likely children will be to resort to this means of social influence, as shouts and screams. They are without any logical reasoning come to the conclusion about high efficiency and reliability of the Creek. Time this way you can quickly achieve the desired, it is necessary to resort to it again and again. Parental obedience, diligence and concern only serves as a reinforcement of negative behavior of children. Having clarified this for yourself, you should choose a line of conduct that could resist rooting this habit, turning blatancy one of the leading traits. Easier, of course, just not to mess with such “welcame”, close their eyes to this disadvantage children and try not to provoke them once again. But such tactics can only lead to the fact that children will not wait for a convenient, opportune, and will begin to use their provocations in any situations. And so what, what’s, and ingenuity in them is impossible to deny.
If you resolve once and for all to end this form of childhood whims, first of all make sure. Not to succumb to childish provocations hard, but once you get out of yourself, and everything can start again. Therefore state their demands calmly and firmly, don’t forget about argumentation and justification. Unquestioning obedience exists only in authorized ways, in family matters it is short-lived and even dangerous. Invite boys and girls to submit their requests and requirements in a different form, without cries and emotions. Do not interrupt and do not resent, if the first time it will not work. Even adults are not always aware of themselves, and children only have to learn it. Let try again, and then another and another. Perhaps, restrained manner to communicate will finally start to bring them pleasure.
In conversations with children refrain from threats and intimidation, otherwise these techniques will quickly enter the repertoire of actions of your children, but now will be directed against you. Be firm in your intentions, but don’t confuse hardness with cruelty and intransigence. The child will not scream for no reason. A cry is a signal of emotional distress and helplessness of the little man. So try to find out the cause of the disturbance and to provide timely help.