How to establish a relationship with the mother
Very often there are situations when two most people can’t find understanding. You need time to understand how to build relationships with my mother not to commit further mistakes.
Mom always remains the most close person, regardless of how old we are. But unfortunately the problems between us begin to manifest in childhood, continue to adolescence, and conflict-adult daughters and their mothers at all no surprise. To know how to establish a relationship with the mother, you need to understand how you formed your relationship.
Daughter and mother: what are the relationships
If you do not consider extreme cases in which the child with his mother really is unlucky, in most cases the mother is really a lot invested in the development and upbringing of his daughter. But in the end the relationship between them cannot be called, nor trust, nor friendly. From experience, there are several types of relationship mother – daughter.
Mother and daughter are best friends
In forming this type of relationship, the main role is played by the mother. These relationships are laid in childhood and carefully scooting through life and her mother and daughter. If the mother had time to consider in daughter Mature person, they will have a very good relationship. The daughter in this case is completely entrusted to the mother, share their problems and experiences and resonates.
Mother is pleased with the success of the daughter and fully supports her in everything. Such relationships are often possible if all sides separate living space and the lack of dependence of one party from another. Daughter, it is crucial to separate yourself from your farm so you can get such a good relationship with the mother of their children.
Competition mom and daughter
Despite the strangeness of such a wording, often between mother and daughter is really growing rivalry and competition. This occurs when the mother looks good, and even take them for sisters.
The problem goes back to childhood, when the daughter begins a rivalry with her mother for the father’s attention. At the time, the mother has behaved incorrectly, or she suffers from low self-esteem, which leads to the emergence of such relations.
This does not prevent mother to worry for her daughter, but underneath she feels envy, which prevents her to build a normal relationship with his daughter. Externally, between them there is no visible conflict, but the relationship is cool and not particularly trust. In order to establish a relationship with the mother daughter have all the time to smooth out the nervousness of the mother and to comfort her when she feels useless and tired.
The cold war in relations with my mother
In such a relationship often blame the daughter. They can’t forgive the mother of any child soreness, nedolyublennost and, as a result, are not willing to chat and meet with his mother. Forgetting that this woman gave them the most important thing – life.
Do not forget that often tell my mother about my love, come to visit or simply call. Think about how to establish a relationship with the mother. Be interested in her life and give her some you povospityvat. Just listen and be there when needed.
Why can’t I establish a relationship with the mother
How conflicts occur and why the mother and daughter can’t understand each other? In all cases, you need to find a way out and try to make peace.
The difference in tastes. For example, you like the bright flamboyant outfits, and my mother wants to dress modestly and decently. You should not slam the door, offended pout to the world and to complain to her friends on “backward ancestors”. Isn’t it better to watch the fashion magazines, discuss the latest trends and find a compromise.
It is possible that my mother’s advice – do not wear this outfit during the day, and it is better to wear in the evening, and to throw light jacket, will be the best out of the situation. Too bright makeup day looks too vulgar. So mom, partly right. Try more tell mom about their girlfriends and Boyfriends. What styles in clothes prefer schoolmates or classmates.
The difference in tastes may relate to any age. It makes it difficult to establish a relationship with the mother. Even mothers married ladies may not like how they looked after the home, for example. Habit to direct and to teach touch ever and you.
Try not to interfere and to respect the opinions of the mother, even if you think differently. You can say that you and your husband “decided that it is necessary to do so”. This way you will make it clear to your mom that you have your own family and build their family nest prefer together with her husband.
Select satellite. As for the choice of a guy at a young age, you’ve probably heard repeatedly my mother’s advice.
How to establish a relationship with the mother, to prove his position
If the mother will know your guy and be sure he will not cause you harm, it is unlikely it will interfere with your meetings. And if your mom will be right, and the young man will not be the hero of your novel? You might simply be ashamed of his harsh tone and the negation of familiar truths.
Unfortunately, there are times when moms don’t want to understand that adult daughters themselves become mothers. In the relationship mother-in-law-son-in-law, often suffer daughter, torn between loved ones. In such complex family twists and turns can only help the tact and compromise. Try to a minimum to reduce their impact.
To convince husband to be loyal to the mother-in-law is much easier than to convince mom. Often tell your mother what a wonderful and attentive husband. Never complain about your family troubles. It is possible that you and your husband quickly make up, and mom will be fiercely hated son-in-law, offended the girl. If mom will see that you are all well in the family, there’s no reason for resentment or conflict.
If you are forced to live together for whatever reason, try to find all ways to live separately. This will keep good relations with their loved ones, will be able to establish a relationship with the mother and you will have reason to worry because of domestic turmoil.
Perfect building relationships with mother, you can receive a democratic education. That is, a scheme in which every problem is discussed together. And the behavior of parents and children consistent and flexible. If parents help to bring qualities such as responsibility, independence, any conflict is resolved without any problems.
How to establish a relationship with the mother, you need to think and try to solve this problem. To understand, to forgive, to accept means to become older and wiser. To find time for intimate conversation never late. To protect a loved one and understand it is a manifestation to him sincere and kind feelings.
How to establish a relationship with the mother, the advice of a psychologist
“Help to establish a relationship with my mother. She has her own ideas about love daughter. She asked that I called her every day. I did just that. Yesterday I called her at 17.00, then went to work to 21.30. I came home, it was late, but still caught a cold. The next day I called her back at 14.00 hours. No one answered. I started my mom to call every 30 minutes, at 19.00 hours, she said, accused me that I did not call back in the evening, so she didn’t pick up, although I heard that I called her, cried a little and hung up. I understand that it’s manipulation, but don’t know what to do, do not want to quarrel. Yulia Moiseeva”.
How to build relationships with her mother, meets psychologist Elena.
I don’t know why your mom responds to your calls that way. Perhaps it was always like that with it something happens. But that isn’t the mother. You write that you do not want to quarrel. The argument is always two participants.
You don’t want – and don’t fuss. Just listen to what you say mom, and say nothing. But the question, in my opinion, not that. You want to call your mom every day? Think it your duty? If so, agree on the constant time that is convenient for both of you, and perform its responsibility.
If you do not consider it necessary to call every day, don’t do it. It’s possible that your mother will be offended (not quarrel), it is possible that she will call, you will speak less frequently, but with great desire and interest. I wish you good luck!