Parents Can love all their children equally Unequal slices of the heart
Children should be loved and multiplied. Even the President of the country already is aware about the problem of the demographic situation.
To move this issue in the context of a particular family means to have a second, third, etc. child to not fail the people of the Russian land. However, when a child in one family, and the love of parents is directed at him fully. But if children, according to the call of instinct, the call of the President, and just love, becomes greater than one, the situation is changing.
I noticed several times the same picture: next door milf, middle-aged woman, accompanies her to school two twins boys for ten years at his brother. The boys really look the same. Hairstyles, height, shoes. Even the jackets are completely similar. Only one of them a woman kissing passionately, with love, smiles at him and whispers something in your ear. And here’s another – same externally – obyazivaet otherwise. Cool look, sluggish forced kiss, more like a faint touch of lips. Farewell type “Study hard!” said he haughtily, not whispering gently in the pink abalone, as the first child. From the difference in the attitude of a mother to his two children looks are striking, although the latter apparently stamped!
Probably almost every person, man or woman, who remembers his childhood, becomes bitter when he recalls how bought all the best brother or sister. Every child, if he grew up not one, and had brothers and sisters, a familiar feeling of frustration on the parents, for life, if he felt that not so much as a brother or sister. Child’s heart in such cases is screaming: “what have I done?” And it turns out nothing, and sometimes even better! Just love you less than the rest of their children. So lay the stars in the sky. So it developed characters. So, there are three child in the family (for example). Tamara is the eldest. Average – Timothy. Junior – Earring.
Tamara, who plays the role of “the ugly duckling”, very acutely aware of their flaws. She was born “shotgun”. Sharpen: once the condom broke, and she turned – Tamara. Dad made an offer to the mother, that is, of course, agreed. Moved in together, got used mom and dad. Got used in the end thoroughly, and more than once, why, and turned to Timothy, and then the most cool and funny cousin, Serge. The Serezha Shapoval mom and especially dad very much! It is cherished. Play with him. Talking. Buy the best toys, the most comfortable and modnyuchee clothes.
Tamara feels wholeheartedly that even middle-age brother – Timothy – ancestors are warmer than her. Tamara thinks, “I am the ugly duckling transforming into a beautiful Swan I have no chance to do more than the national team of Russia on football to win the world championship. Pluck me it please! It’s all already do and will continue to fabricate with pleasure. But to love, to caress, soft-touch nobody wants, except, perhaps, half-deaf grandmother. Yes the old lady confuses all. Old she is. Calls me sometimes Tanya. And I am Tamara. And love the headstock some old, dry. So, I’m Tamara, an outcast in the family, aluminize, torn the condom as a joke about Indians. Anger that is boiling in me.”
And anger leads to stiffness, and Tamara develops his thought: “But I have learned to hate to fight. Beat your face more handsome soplirew and sissy’s in the blood. I learned from a slingshot to kill with the first shot unwary Sparrow. The time will come, and my brothers, Timothy and Sergei, pushing bottoms, in colorful aprons and bibs, crawling on your knees to me for protection from the cruelty of the streets. And maybe I’ll forgive them.”
So breaks down the psyche unloved child. Therefore, some teachers advise parents to try not to show explicit preferences regarding children. Even an implicit hint that the elder, for example, less than love, than younger, is already invalid. Whatever you may say, and Sherlock Holmes from the kids and the rod: the young and instantly “get it” hypocrisy in the feelings. I think you should keep the bar of love over the heads of their offspring exactly like a Builder that uses a device called a “level” (thanks to him, the furniture is nice and sharp, and the shelves are hanging parallel to the ground).
Want family relationships were smooth, relatively quiet not demonstrate any of the children’s preferences. The level of love can rock, play as stock quotes on the exchange in the form of a prancing schedules, but should return to a classic, smooth position. Let parents/parent have somewhere slightly to dissemble – it’s worth it, in order not to break the psyche unloved kids. Clarify the term “unloved” in this article: refers to a child whose parents/parent loves significantly less than another child.
But how to keep the level of love around on one plate? After all, parents are human beings too, with his character. Melancholic, sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic. The technician reaches for the child, which puts the designer and puzzles. Creative parent stretches over to the kid that thinks figuratively, likes to draw, to perform on a makeshift stage. In the end, let’s trust not just of psychology, but also the aura. What? Yes, the aura thing until the end unproven. But frustrating is if we communicate with one person, and others want to be around — these things mean, rather, that the aura is the second more friendly and relevant to your.
But the words of one educator Olesya: “I’m terrified!” Her own daughter 14 years uncomfortable, nervous, and just unpleasant. But with a friend’s daughter – a girl from a foreign parent families, and disadvantaged – more comfortable and nicer than my flesh and blood! Although “it’s a Sin!”, but Olesya says: “How nice it would be to swap daughters!”. Ask: “what about consanguinity?” She raises her lips: “Blood relationship does not make me a happy man!” So the argument! And to fend off nothing! She my daughter loves less than the third child.
Let me remind you, if even be able to pretend to love all children equally, and to behave accordingly, that in his eyes, in the touch, the words, the sound of their voices the shorties feel cheated. Them, the babies, not caught with chaff! On the other hand, the faint smile malalauma child and fake a kiss strain and the parents/parent. Sooner or later, the control will automatically cease, and the child sees the true attitude of most of the saints, in General, people.
What can you do?
1 Talent to pretend that all children love them equally.
2 Honestly tell the child that it is less like than younger, for example. But then, wait resentment, revenge older to younger, the development of fluids hatred in the family.
3 to Force myself to “doublewall” missing love to keep the balance of the scales in the family. Albeit through force, but to share a piece of themselves deprived in terms of attention and warmth to the child. This policy is called family diplomacy. The most preferable, I think.
4 to Be childfree. Without children by life. As comrade Stalin: “no man – No problem!”
5 Triple protection. To make love to both partners in diving suits. In a green, thick. Then will occur the merger of sperm and egg and therefore will not be and children. Contraception at the head of the corner! Not as a childfree lifestyle, but the defense and protection again! However, in diving suits, it is difficult to see the charm of each other, but it is fixable. In the age of to shoot video mentioned the charm of the film is not a problem. Most importantly, to prevent physical contact. However, it is already technical details.
Therefore, to love all children equally in the family does not work. Like it or not.