Why is the child crying?
So decided to start this topic, just stumbled upon a very addicting book. share your observations and young parents will begin to properly understand their children.
Here are some quotes from the book (“1000 ways to understand your child from birth 0 to 7”, Ifergan Harry, Etienne Rick).
“the POSITION of PARENTS
As soon as the child begins to cry, the whole family comes to the excitement. Everyone is asking each other: maybe he’s hungry, maybe he’s hot or he’s wet. But in vain diaper changing, nothing helps. The baby cries louder reinforcing the anxiety of parents. The result is all on edge, worried, annoyed. There is a desire to go to the doctor. But it turns out that the child is healthy. It remains only to wander around the apartment and in the end to put the baby to bed-naturally, with a guilty conscience.
THE POSITION OF THE CHILD
Your child is not crying, he communicates! Its only a lexicon screams. From the first months of life of their repertoire is diverse: the cries of hunger – loud and persistent, because it affects his life. The chirping of satisfaction, indicating that the child is clean, fed and happy. Grunt, followed by a head movement to the right, to the left indicates that he wants to sleep. Tears – it is wet or hot. Cries of pain (colic, painful belching, hiccups, ear infection or toothache). Since the second or third month – call-cries or prolonged moans that just mean: “pick me up” screams of protest “I don’t want this pacifier”, finally, to the eighth month, the cries of anger, accompanied by sobs – which can last up to 3-4 years.
THE POSITION OF A PSYCHIATRIST
Some parents make the mistake of assuming that their baby is suffering, and begin to caress it too, which actually prevents him to calm down.
A study of children under the age of 6 weeks showed that on average they cry 2H. 45min. a day, sometimes more/less, that should not cause alarm.
At this age the child already shows some traits: he is calm or in front of a demanding, quick-tempered, outgoing or “the pretender”. It is noticed that the screams grow from birth to three months, then the frequency decreases, to increase again towards the age from 18 months to 3 years, i.e. in the period of confrontation and assertion of identity.
Instead of causing concern, the cries and tears of the child should reassure parents. They mean, at least that communication “happens”. Crying does not necessarily reflect anxiety or pain. Studies conducted in hospitals, show that you are really a sick child, as a rule, does not scream. So too quiet child should be of concern. Only when the child begins to recover, he restores communication thanks “acoustic cordon”. This expression was coined by psychologists, by analogy with the umbilical cord, which allows the embryo to meet their needs. Acoustic cordon has the property to attract attention and thus to meet the child’s needs before he will be able to Express them in another way.
When the baby cries, he turns to his parents, sending signals that parents are trying to decipher. These are the first signs of communication are formed at the beginning of uncertainly. Over time, parents better understand the child and to meet his needs. The mother or father will say, “He’s crying because he’s teething” or “need to lay it, he wants to sleep”. Parents who are confident in their competence, will be calm and soothing effect on the child.
If the first time the baby cries, make sure he’s okay. He’s not necessarily hungry, maybe he is wet or too hot. Approach it does not mean to pick him up. You can just quietly beside him to stand up and say a few gentle words that would calm him down. If a child cries when it is dry and well-fed, will agree that he just needs to cry – this is not unusual. On the contrary, if his piteous cries and moans like continue even when you hold him in your arms, measure his temperature, perhaps the child is sick. If you think that he “what is not like this,” do not doubt that it is necessary to call a doctor.
Up to three or four months, the child is never naughty for no reason. Only later, if parents resort the slightest cry, he begins to realize that crying will lead to him parents. But if the crying lasts continuously for 10 or 15 minutes, go to the child, try to understand what he wants.
Whatever it is, research shows that children aged less than 6 months, to the cry which parents respond appropriately (kind words, smiles, lullabies, touching, tranquility, pacifier, diaper change) in the first few minutes of crying, less whiny and start very early to babble.
Consider the temperament of your child. Some children, stuntmen already in the womb, are in consequence of a brat and tyrants, continuing to cry even in the gentle hands of their mothers; others are quiet by nature, calm down easier, even if there mother is not. Be patient: with a 3 month old he will cry less and start singing!
PITFALLS TO AVOID
The child needs to be calm, quiet and relaxing. In the first days of life he needs 15 to 18 hours of sleep. It is obvious that continuous transitions from hand to hand, smile, chirping and the constant rocking of his tire and only reinforce the crying.
Avoid to force the child meals in the strictly set hours, it can cause irritation. Better to stick to the rhythm of the baby, at least during the first three to four months. Also don’t need to bathe before the evening feeding, oblivious to the fact that he’s crying from hunger. In this case, it is better first to feed, and then to redeem. Don’t reproach yourself for what you misunderstand the cries of their child. This requires time and many attempts to understand it by trial and error. Perfect parents 100 percent understand your child first you don’t exist. ”
Next is a good example of how the mother because of excessive love and care made a big mistake, because any cries of his daughter, she transcribed as hunger, desire to eat. And considered the best manifestation of love – immediately to satisfy this need, plugging screaming mouth chest. At the age of 7 she began to suffer obesity – “she was accustomed to calm down the only way is eating. If you encounter the slightest problem girl bites”.
“are feeding the flesh – feed the mind. The girl’s parents never thought about the true meaning, namely, to the requirements of the child, and it’s sad. The little girl always believes that she is hungry, whereas. ”
So there you go.